this morning i nearly cant get into the office.. cos my colleague went jb.. other colleagues seldom go office so early.. n i haf no key to the office.. so i call one of my colleague.. n heng he is on the way to the office le.. if not, with today weather i think i will melt outside the office.. haha..

i feel tired very easy recently.. feel my energy level getting lower n lower.. i think i suffer from illness of tiredness again.. haha.. whole day will feel tired.. especially after apointment.. dat's worse.. become no soul.. restless.. going to die soon.. i dunno wat happen to me.. izzit the job is too stress? no.. cos i have been working for months.. where are those invisible pressure come from? i have decided to work till end of this month.. at 1st i tot i can work till opening school.. but with present condition think i can work till this month is already a bonus.. though i really wanna help them.. i cant take it anymore.. sound like this job is not gd.. no no no.. everyone dun misunderstand.. this job is fine.. my colleagues r all very gd.. is my prob.. think i still cant used to working life.. i jus dunno how to handle some stuff properly..

i not as capable as i used to be anymore.. i cant handle thing well now.. i cant rest well now.. i cant stop my brain from working.. i cant take thing easy now.. i am not the past me anymore.. i have change.. not dat happy-go-lucky person dat i used to be.. i maybe look like one.. but i am not.. maybe i have grown up.. so i think alot.. maybe becos of the past.. i have changed.. maybe i have reach another stage of life.. so i have to try to adapt to it.. or maybe my brain think faster than my age.. maybe my life is really dat boring.. maybe becos of the environment and surrounding.. is we change the environment or environment change us?

i wanna be a simple me like some of u.. think simple.. work simple.. live simple..

use one word to describe myself.. entangled.. my brain is entangled with thoughts.. my brain cells r dying.. pity those cells which live in my brain.. u all suffered too much..

i feel tired again.. my mood gone.. recently i dun haf any appetite.. but i still force myself to eat.. cos i dunno when i will be hungry again.. n think i getting fatter n fatter.. i going to leave soon.. go malaysia.. cos my grandpa's bday.. back by sun.. den mon work again.. the routine goes.. i noe i can do it.. without anyone's help.. if i use the old way.. wo bu ren xin n she de.. so i going to find a new n better way..