She's always on my mind

From the time I wake up,Till I close my eyes.

She's everywhere I go, She's all I know.

And though she's so far away,

It just keeps getting stronger everyday

And even now she's gone, I'm still holding on

So tell me, where do I start

'Coz it's breakin' my heart

Don't wanna let her go

Chorus:

Maybe my love will come back someday

Only heaven knows

And maybe our hearts will find a way

But only heaven knows

And all I can do is hope & pray

'Coz heaven knows.

My friends keep telling me

That if you really love her,You've gotta set her free

And if she returns in time

I'll know she's mine

But tell me, where do I start

'Coz it's breakin' my heart

Don't wanna let her go

(Repeat Chorus except last line)

Bridge:

'Coz heaven knows

Why I live in despair

'Coz wide awake or dreamin',I know she's never there

And all the time I act so brave,

I'm shakin' inside

Why does it hurt me so?

(Repeat Chorus)

Heaven knows... heaven knows.

think i should make a decision.. this decision i noe all of u will be very happy for me.. but not myself.. but who will care how i feel..

i dun wanna trouble anyone anymore.. sorry for all the trouble i have done..

this will be the last good bye..

jus see thru past archive..
haf some memories flash back..
last yr xmas n this yr xmas r not the same..
last yr is more fun.. this yr's is liked bored..
think nov is a curse for me..


if i have jus a wish..
i really wish dat time can return back..


[zhen xi xian zai.. zhe yang guo le ye bu hui gan dao ke xi..]
[tong shi bei ai he ai ren cai hui gan dao xin fu..]

bored christmas eve.. no program.. no outing.. no fun.. no nothing..
a festive season for everyone.. but for me is jus a normal weekends..
everyone seems very excited for tml christmas.. but for me tml haf nothing interesting.. only maybe a dinner with xh n sq..
the more the merrier.. but my plan always cant proceed as plan.. really feel disappointed.. think my words is always not counted for all.. my words is jus shit rite? sometime i really sick of those rejected ans.. really disappointing..
should i stop asking ppl out anymore? really got sian half de feeling..


i jus need somebody to be there when i need accompany.. but always no one there..
i din expect much..1 or 2 is enough.. but always end up no one.. really feel sad n disappointed..
i haf no friends? no.. but maybe i am jus a nobody to them..
i really dun like to be alone.. hate it.. alone make me think so much.. make me feel moody..
wanna find someone to talk to also so diff..


i wanna the time to go faster.. faster end my itp.. faster go uni or work.. out of this period as soon as possible.. go anywhere also good.. go australia or stay in singapore.. as long as i am wont feel lonely jiu can le..


everything seems to have a link with u..

this unique calendar dog and body shop body lotion and bathing stuff(very nice smell) are from siqi..

this cute cute green green thingy - Mokozi and diamond bracelet(the bracelet is ard its neck) are from xiao hui..

i really like it alot..

hints for those who wanna buy thingy for me in the future:

1) can buy anything for me but make sure it is suitable for me..

2) i dun mind cheap thingy.. cos is the thought dat counts..

3) dun get thing dat u noe i will not use/wear/carry..

4) dunno wat to get for me jiu buy something cute..

5) really dunno wat to get jiu no need give.. i dun mind de..

ok.. think dat's all for the hints..

i hope it will be useful for the ppl who wanna buy thingy for me..

erm.. btw i not fussy or wat..

wishlists for xmas till next yr:

get as many suitable n nice clothings as possible

get a handphone

get a pair of shoes

save alot alot of money

go for a graduation trip

have a great 21st birthday

everyone dat i noe can live happily ever after

n can stay healthy always

world peace

no disaster

no war

no disease

saturday went so-called xmas gathering organized by cadc.. erm.. not really fun.. kidda sian.. number of ppl.. pathetic.. dunno y club event will become like dat? this time is really ren de wen ti.. fun is when yu teng is there.. use teochew to speak lor.. like ah pek.. haha.. keep all the present ar.. choose the present also.. haha.. actually me n xiao hui also keep the chocolate.. haha..

receive dao xiao hui n siqi give me de presents.. i like it very much.. thank gals.. 1st time exchange present wif them.. dunno wat to get for them also.. but think they like it also.. hee.. actually wanna post the pic of wat they give de.. but i haven take pic of them.. only get to take the cute cute green green de dunno wat thingy.. haha.. ji cute yi xia~ haha..

[bu zai hu tian chang di jiu.. zi zai hu cheng jing yong you?]

no more movie for me actually.. last movie [zai shuo yi ci wo ai ni]

i wanna watch other nice show actually.. like [qing dian da sheng]

i wanna watch wif the right person..

but think dun haf such person right now..

[cheng jing cuo guo.. hou hui?]

y the call always come at the right time?

dat time is like dat.. this dat also..

can predict?

but is jus passby..

[christmas wish?]

i noe wat will happen this year so might well wish for next year..

next year no more lonely christmas for me.. pls~

i scared i will be alone till old..

hope i am not alone till old..

hope all my friends enjoy during christmas..

for those friends having test this few weeks:

study hard.. all the best.. jia you..

test periods will over very fast de..

very fast u all jiu holiday le.. so gd..

i really miss sch life.. though now i dun haf any test or exam..

think i consider grad le ba.. not belong to u all le..

jus xian mu all of u.. pls cherish the sch life now..

cos it is totally different after u go to work..

the only thing to look forwards is the public holiday..

pathetic..

[missing]

When u r missing someone, jus let the person noe it..

Cos u never noe dat the person might be missing u too..

But wat if the person didnt miss u any?

still needa say out?

Then the main point is whether do u wanna the person to noe dat u r missing him/her?

sometime is better to say out, but sometime is not..

But when is the perfect time? no one knows..

Maybe u can jus try ur luck..

Love someone doesn't mean have to be together..
As long as he/she is happy..
Don't need to care how ownself feel.. izzit?

Sometimes have to learn how to let go..
If it is not meant to be yours, then don't hold it so tight..
If it is yours, then it will come back someday..

Waiting can be fortunate but also disappointed..

Why history has to repeat twice?
It happened twice, so it can handle better.. izzit?
No, i think.. Once is enough actually..

In a relationship, both have to learn how to give and take..

The relationship wont work when one side always give out and the other always take in..

The one who always give out will have nothing to give one day..

The one who always take in will take the one for granted one day..

One may not wan to be the one who always give out/take in..

The one who give out must learn how to take in..

The one who take in must learn how to give out..

Then the relationship wont to be too boring and die off so quickly..

Try to give some surprises to brighten the relationship..

Dun give too much.. cos too much surprises equal no surprise..

my phone's memory really full..
it cant open any applications.. even all my msg..
it is diff to startup also..
think all my msg going to be all gone.. stupid phone.. i dun even wanna delete them.. den now all my memories gone.. damn sad now..
stupid phone.. shit.. f***..
haf to format the phone.. but it refuse to startup also..
i haven decide anything..
den it din seek my permission.. den decide for me.. is not fair..
fated? i dun wan..
return me my memories..

suddenly i feel sad.. left out..
i cant be here and there..
no link.. no ideas.. no topic.. no sense of belonging..
if someday i choose to leave.. no one will notice me either..
i am jus a no body to everyone.. an extra maybe..
i dun like the feeling.. i hate it..
maybe i should choose to leave..
my brain works 24/7.. non-stop..
i wan it to stop but jus cant..
unless i..